#My Testimony

[artist-issues]

Hello, brother/sister (sorry I found out you existed today lol) in Christ! I just started my own blog yesterday, and I wanted to ask you two questions!

how did you come to Christ? (I am a sucker for testimonies, lol)

how can I preach the gospel on Tumblr with gentleness and grace and love for others? (and how do I not get involved in a keyboard smashing session, haha)

thanks for your time, God bless and have a great day! :)

I came to Christ when I was 15. I’m a Pastor’s kid. So the truth in the Bible was about as impactful to me as reciting my ABCs. But when I turned 9 I started to tune in to the parts about Hell and eternal damnation and freak out about it. So I believed God was real, and Hell and heaven were, too, even though I was living for myself. I started asking questions and praying for my salvation around that time, but it was only to “get out of going to Hell.” I had zero interest in the things of God, or submitting to Him. My top priorities were getting everyone to think well of me, especially my family. So I was super good at saying all the right things and doing all the right things, then behind closed doors I did whatever sinful stuff I felt like doing without a shred of thought for God.

Whenever I panicked about verses like “depart from Me, I never knew you,” I’d pray and ask the adults around me how to tell if I was “really saved,” (again, making zero connection between “saved” and anything except “get out of Hell,” in my heart) and they’d try to explain. But I always just latched on to phrases like “it’s not some sparkly feeling,” and quit panicking and went back to living for myself. But that really is what I was missing—a feeling. Specifically, passion about God, and what He loves, and what He wants, and who He is. That, and submission & repentance 😅

So that pattern went on till I was fifteen and old enough to go to this summer camp. And I was finally away from my usual circles, where I only thought about God in the context of “what does everyone here need to see me doing to think well of me?”

At this camp, the counselors and the teachers cut through all that in like 24 hours. They were like, “yeah, you don't have to give me the correct answer; I know what the teacher just said, but what about you? What do you do, in your life, on your own? What is it like when it’s just you and God?” And between that, and the crazy “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me except God” culture of the whole staff and everyone at that summer camp, God started getting ahold of me.

He started making me think about how everyone else wasn’t just “living for God” as part of their social bubble. They actually felt something genuine about Him. And I didn’t feel that. I didn’t feel anything, and I couldn’t *think* or *reason* or *force* myself to feel what they all seemed to be feeling.   They did this skit, and it was all about how broken sin makes us, and feeling the weight of that, and how Christ is the only salvation, and then that was followed up with this no-nonsense authoritative preaching from God’s Word, about how being “saved” isn’t just from your sin. It’s from yourself. It’s from your *lack* of caring about what is good, of caring about God.

I actually finally realized that when everyone else was out of the picture and it’s just me and God, I don’t care about Him. Even though I know what He did for me. And that felt like the most crushing vile sin of all of them, of my whole double-life. And I couldn’t get out from under it. But then it was super clear: He said He’d give me a “new heart.”

So I asked Him to save me and make me care about Him, and I’d live the rest of my life doing what He tells me to do.    He has done that! Not all at once, but gradually. I care more about doing what He wants, even if nobody in my favorite circles comes with me, than I ever thought I would. And there’s no explanation for it, because I had all of the circumstantial and situational reasons to have that kind of motivation for the first 14 years of my life—and I still didn’t. The only explanation for the change is Him. 

As far as how to talk about it here on tumblr...I've never really started a conversation specifically to lead someone to Christ online. I don't think online is the place to try that—but sometimes the topic comes up naturally because it's relevant to what I'm talking about in a post, like values in movies or if an important truth comes to mind and I feel like posting about it.

If you don't want to get into arguments, the best thing to do is not reply. People here tend to intentionally re-phrase everything you say into something they can buck and kick at, even if you choose your words super carefully. It's because they don't want to have a discussion. They either want to be right, or they want to make you look like a fool. It's impossible for them to do either of those things if what they're arguing against is truth—but they tend to just keep trying if you reply.

I only reply if I feel strongly that others might read the interaction and get the wrong idea about God, or truth, because of the word-twisting of my opposition. However, it's up to your personal conviction! 

My main advice is, don't ever stoop to returning insults. If someone calls you stupid, don't call them stupid back. If someone says something that's just a personal attack on you and has nothing to do with what you're arguing about, you can call it out--"what does that have to do with anything?"--and move on, or you can totally ignore it. And if someone just keeps on re-phrasing everything you say, like this:

Me: There's always more to learn, you don't know everything about what all Christians believe.

Them: I can't believe you're telling me you know more than me, lol, I've got forty years of experience

Then just block 'em. They either don't have good reading comprehension, or they don't want to actually debate in order to highlight truth. They want to debate to hear themselves talk, to convince themselves that they're right, to look like they're right in front of their followers, or to make a fool out of you. None of those are good reasons to debate.

They're looking to discredit you by any means necessary—including twisting your words. See how I said nothing about how much more *I* know than the other person? But somehow they took the point of my phrase and twisted it into a personal attack. That sort of thing isn't worth wasting your time on.

My dad likes to say, "nobody wins people to Christ by arguing them into it." I don't know if that's true, but it has been based on my experience. That said, I think truth is worth defending, and I think we're commanded to stand up against what is wrong. However, there comes a point when it's really just falling on deaf ears and continuing is a point of pride instead of humility.

For your questions, I'd see what the Bible says! 

[darknesscannotsaveyou]

hey im just curious and not tryna be rude but, why does your bio say ‘ex-lgbt’? does this mean ur like homophobic? and again im not tryna be rude and you dont have to answer the question if u dont want to. im christian also, but also lgtbqia+. have a good day

first off, i am absolutely not homophobic. it means that when i became saved, i repented from homosexuality and have struggled with SSA since then. i used to identify with so many labels within the LGBT community when i was walking in the sin of homosexuality, amongst many other sins. i appreciate you asking that.

also, i say this out of the truth of God's Word, someone cannot be Christian and LGBT. someone cannot be both Christian and identify with a certain sin. one cannot mix darkness with Light.

someone who claims to be a Christian then in the same breath, identifies with sin, ask God to examine your heart to see if His Spirit truly dwells within you. i pray you don't take offense to me saying this, but it is more loving for others to convict us of our sin than comfort us about our sin, no matter how much we don't like it in the moment.

[faith-armor]

💛 ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ | ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ!

This post will include some information about me and a short testimony of my life as a depressed addict before Christ. Thanks for checking out my blog!

💛 ᴀʀᴛɪsᴛ & ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀ

Howdy! I'm a Christian artist from the southern US who enjoys creating stories & characters that glorify God and share the gospel! 🔥⚔️ ✝️ I like anime and various comic styles. I'm currently working on my own style.

sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴀ: compiled on my carrd

💛 ʀᴏʟᴇᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ sᴀᴠᴇᴅ ʙʏ ɢʀᴀᴄᴇ

It's surreal to be here after taking a long hiatus around 2021. I'm used to having "missing e", a dozen extensions, and all of my pretty post formatting. It seems tumblr has tidied things up to make formatting easier. Back then, I used to copy/paste blank spaces, pretty symbols, and emojis, indent all of my paragraphs, and then use a bunch of key commands to select and make my font size small and neat! Haha! I don't have any problem with people who do that, it was a style choice for writers and roleplayers.

“The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness.” Romans 1:18

jaegerbombed | warpathpanther | blacklightburns | rubmyrosary

(CONTENT WARNING: above blog archives have explicit and/or adult content and are TESTIMONIES of what I used to write, portray, and how i lived my life.)

I was part of the tumblr roleplay community and many other rp communities across the internet, including Gaiaonline, jcink, and proboards. I did this hobby for about 16 years before I started to take my faith seriously in 2020-2021. To clarify faith, I was never really a believer or follower of Christ until I was BORN AGAIN in January 2023! Hallelujah! Note: I am not saying Christians cannot role play or enjoy writing as a way to develop characters, stories, etc. As long as it's not used to write content that would make you sin and it's not becoming an obsession.

Before that, I was depressed and detached from reality. I chased short-lived satisfaction in p**nography and alcoholism. I hyperfixated on the horror genre, supernatural & horror anime, tv series, video games, movies, and more. I felt empty all the time, had deep loneliness & despair, a void within me, & I filled it with those addictions.

I had insomnia from late nights living my double life. I was hateful, rude, condescending, competitive, swore all the time, & angry. I had a history of identifying as a bisexual, dated other girls online, and frequently played male roles during role play. I had gender dysphoria, went by 'khan', or 'khanivore'. I internalized a lot of it and would act out by doing drag king and drag cosplay IRL and roleplaying hypermasculine male characters. I began identifying as bi or pansexual, and was uncomfortable being a woman IRL and roleplaying females, even with the few I attempted to portray.

I attended many conventions to portray my comfort characters that I also roleplayed. When the convention was over, I felt like my heart was being burned alive & there was nothing to fill that void. I was never satisfied and sought after dozens of rp communities to take up my time so I could idolize playing hypermasculine male characters in the roleplay communities I was a part of.

Wrote hundreds of thousands of words portraying s*xual fantasies with males & females (which was part of my p***ography addiction). I obsessed over becoming male characters; thinking their thoughts, living their lives, not my own. I was hateful & manipulative in the relationships I sought to portray, breathing threats and vicious gossip against others. I became oppressed by demons while playing sinful music that glorified death, sex, and destruction, created vision boards that made me think of these characters, obsessively memorized their dialogues, and did some crazy forms of method acting. These characters had their own birthdays & astrology signs that I celebrated.

I saw many friendships made, torn apart, and savagely destroyed due to the toxicity of the community. Without Christ, people unhealthily hyperfixate on their idols and become jealous of other people writing better, portraying a certain character better, and seeking all types of 'shipping' relationships that don't go well. I know because that's what I did. I was so competitive that I plagiarized a lot of my ideas and writings from other roleplayers. I hid it for a long time.

But JESUS set me free! He had been knocking on the door of my heart. I did not seek Him, I wanted to live in my filth, I loved my sin. But HE sought after me & my heart slowly softened. And I also had to RESPOND to Him, I chose to finally give my life to him. My eyes began to open. I love being a woman, a daughter of God, enjoying feminine things; such as wild flowers, cottagecore, and dresses. I don’t share this testimony to glorify myself; don’t want the wrong attention or things my old self would have gloated over. I share this testimony of where I WAS, to show where JESUS SET ME FREE!

Seek Jesus - He isn’t religion, He’s a real person, the son of God, who was sent to die for our sins. Someone who wants a relationship with you. He wants to set you free from pain. He can give you answers & true identity; not the CULTure.

If the Bible says we are all sinners (Romans 3:23), (1 John 1:10), that our sins have separated us from God (Romans 5:10, 2 Corinthians 5:18) then you see why I urge you to repent (turn away) from your sins, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved. (Acts 16:30-31)

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2

If you're here from twitter/X, and have any questions or comments, feel free to DM me here, on discord, or on X.

[wecanbeperfect]

Left hollyweird years ago to serve The Lord!

Mark 8:37 Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

[foxbox23232]

If God can save me he can truly save anyone. That’s me in the photo from around 2014. I didn’t know what I even believed in, I was so confused back then. I feel like I really didn’t know anything back then either besides how I felt and how I felt about God. Around this time I was very angry at God. I lost my dad and my sister. It felt like people I had in my life literally died. Because one day they were gone. I remember around this time I started experiencing anxiety attacks, which would later follow me for many years all the way up to recently. I didn’t want to be a christian. I was doing drugs. I had no actual relationship or knowledge of God. No praying, no reading the Bible, not going to church, no researching, literally nothing. Even if he was real at this time I didn’t care to know. And I’m thanking God he had mercy on me.

I have had every single excuse to walk away from Christianity and life itself but God gave me every reason not to and to stay and showed me his glory. I have been through so much loss and tragedy in my life. According to psychology I should be on the street or dead. It’s nothing but a miracle I’m even here right now. I have been through divorced parents, abusive parents, abusive relationships, rejection from literally everyone in my life I wish I was joking(parents, ex friends, ex best friends, ex boyfriends, boyfriend, literally everyone except God), kleptomania, drug addiction, alcoholism, flunked out of school, so much fear growing up, mastrubation, fornication, bisexual, anxiety, depression, suicide attempts ( many), would cut myself, ex witch, demons tried to kill me, chronic nightmares, many health problems, broken bones, insomnia, isolation, molestation, and probably other things. I’ve been so beyond embarrassed, so beyond hurt, so beyond rejected. Not to mention I have so much church hurt from church people. My childhood ex best friend rejected me and was a christian. I was brought into a bible study community and when I didn’t want to join I felt like I was forgotten about, the Catholic friends/ family I have around me are usually harmful, a christian lied to me and did things behind my back with my boyfriend, I even had a fallout with my own spiritual mom. So does this mean Christianity doesn’t work? No it means they never got delivered and never got saved. It means despite claiming christian it really means nothing. It means demons will use christians and in turn it plagues Gods own name. So next time you’re thinking about giving up on God, give up everything else that doesn’t lead you to him. And that’s actually where you will meet him and find healing.

So anyways if God can save someone like me and if I still choose to love God, I feel people are honestly without excuse. If there is one person someone can listen to about God, it’s literally me I’m the person because I have been through so much in my life and have had every reason to walk away. But God gave me every reason to stay. This is the story of my life.

[onemillennia]

Ife, Jean, and Alex behind the scenes of Adwoa’s Music video for “My Testimony”

Photography by Ayedatsmanny

Developed & Scanned by 1MILLENNIA

Circa August 2023

Baltimore, Maryland

MILLENNIA MAGAZINE OCTOBER 24’

[aro-ace-christian]

If I'm not dead, You're not done

Greater things are still to come

- My Testimony - Elevation Worship

[kieralive]

my testimony

my real name is Saraana Galbayar i am from Mongolia, i used to get annoyed by my parents, show favouritism in class when acting as the class leader or row leader. making my parents upset, hitting the kids in my class to make them behave, acting not like myself , almost like acting. i used to even 18+ sites even when im a minor , lying , hurting those around me, and i had intense depression, wanted to die and all, shouting at kids in my class and all but, i was saved by Jesus. and thanks to Him im hoping to be better and quit my life with sin prayer works, i started hearing people pray online, thanks to God hearing their prayer, i think He reached out to me and found me.

how beautiful is His grace which saves, i still sometimes have that suicidal thoughts. and when im have some struggles with myself the Bible helped me sometimes, and praying to God made it better.

He saves and He is true. He is the way. please come to Christ and be saved also

.

.

.

for other christians out there, remember “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. " John 15:18 so if you're struggling to not be ashamed of Jesus, try praying to God! before its too late my brothers and sisters. you too could also write your testimony and if want to, you can recreate(?) /repost other's testimony if you have friends that it could reach to.

God bless you.

[maxeiil]

something i was thinking bout not too long ago

I was reading James 4 and specifically verse 3 caught my eye; "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

a while ago, I had a crush on this boy, my friends and I called him plum (because my sister said he looks like one lol). I was always praying to God that I would get to know him and he'd love me too-- and it was like that for months. I was absolutely infatuated with the boy. I always brushed off his wrongdoings and just saw them as his personality traits. I was just blinded by 2 things. 1, he was Christian, and 2, he was kind to me when I was the new girl.

Even though I was indirectly rejected so many times, I was just so stubborn about Plum. The boy literally said he liked tall, white, light-eyed, blondes, the complete opposite off what I am, and I was still delusional. When I found out he really hated me, I was crushed... But a while after, I finally snapped out of it and realized.

I didn't really like him, did I. I just wanted someone pretty to obsess over, someone so beautiful, I'd put them on some "holier than all" pedestal. My feelings for Plum were so superficial. And James 4:3 made me think.

I wanted it so bad, but at the same time I didn't really want it. If I did, I would have went for it. Because isnt it ironic how every chance I got to talk to him I didn't? I wasn't meant to. Plum wasn't mine. He may have loved God, but that doesnt mean he would love me.

And like I said, I was just grossly infatuated and obsessed. It wasn't even love. It was all wrong--It was just a silly delusional beyond delusional crush. I did want Plum for my own pleasures and just to be happy. But I never had anything with him. And I was never supposed to.

And you know what? I'm now really glad it went that way. God sent me another boy; I'll call him Ari. Now, the story between me and Ari is definitely for another testimony, but I really hope this was clear. You won't get everything you want just because you ask for it. No matter how good you are. God has a plan for you. Wait for Him; Your time will come.

God bless all, Maya <3

[darknesscannotsaveyou]

Not to be a seeker of sensationalism or anything (I sincerely hope that is not my motivation although the heart is unfortunately a sly little scamp sometimes), but if it is okay to ask about the "ex-satanist" in your bio -- what made you become one in the first place? I've been curious for years as to what the motivation of someone choosing that path would be.

Also, if you were in a "community" of any sort, do you have an idea how many of the people there were absolutely serious about it or if any considered it a (supremely dangerous) game?

thank u sm for asking!!

i became one out of my flesh seeking something/someone to worship, and because i was already very far from God. i was enjoying living in my sim too much to turn to Him. when i was looking into it, i ended up finding a bit of a community here on tumblr that was into theistic satanism, as well as a discord server i used to be in.

the only "community" i found was online, nothing irl. in the discord server i was in, they were 100% serious about it. i don't know if anyone didn't take it as seriously but the main people who i talked to in that server took it very seriously.

[tears-that-heal]

“We love because he first loved us.”

- 1 John‬ ‭4‬:‭19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

That also includes learning to love myself as God loves me. 💖 In the new year of 2025, it’ll be 20 yrs. since I rededicated my life to Jesus and what an epic journey it has been. This photo perfectly illustrates the very beginning of that spiritual transformation. I started wearing more colors, like pink along with my gothic attire. 🥰 I so love that girl! She has grown so much. Learning to daily embrace herself as she is and seeking to be the creative and free woman God original created her to be. Thank you, Lord, for loving me first! “Chains Be Broken/Lives Be Healed”

(I still love bats tho. Lol 😉🦇)

[fernsproutxx]

why did the zeitgeist ammonium brainrot had to strike again exactly when i say i wanna finish another project bruh 💀

[anheidonia]

The Narrow Gate: my testimony

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

— Matthew 7:13-14

[https://my.bible.com/bible/59/MAT.7.13-14] ⚪️

It was a day like any other. At the time, I was using New Age techniques to "change my situation": things like affirmations, tutorials on how to "manifest" things, online tarot readings… anything related to magic, spirituality and the new age that promised, even if only tenuously, solutions to my problems.  That day, as I watched YouTube videos on those topics, one popped up on my recommended list, titled “New Age to Christianity.” I don’t know why I felt so curious about it, to be honest. I’d come across videos like this in the past and never gave them much thought. This time, for some reason, I felt compelled to watch this particular one, so I did.  In the video, a young man talks about growing up in the Mormon faith and how he left that for the New Age, all of which ultimately led him to an encounter with Jesus. At some point in the video, he talks about a time in his life when he used a lot of drugs and had an experience where he saw some "shadowy creatures." He described them as dark, sinewy entities that harassed and mocked him relentlessly. Even though the description he gives of the creatures is kind of vague, for me, it clicked instantly. It reminded me of a dream I had, many years ago, in which I saw things that perfectly matched the description the guy gave in his video. I realised that what he was describing and what I had seen were the same things, and the very moment I had that realisation, I felt my vision dim and everything went black. I began to feel nervous. Something was happening, but I had no idea what was going on, just that I suddenly felt blind and deaf. Subsequently, in the middle of my field of vision, I saw a dot of white light. It glowed quietly in the darkness for a while, then it changed and became a “line,” a tall stream of light that divided the “screen” in two. All the while, the beam of light grew wider. I looked closer at it and noticed that the line was a kind of “street” or path and that this path went straight to Heaven. There was nothing else; just total darkness and in the middle of that darkness, that line/pathway that led straight into the sky. As I contemplated these things, I “received knowledge” about the meaning of the things I was witnessing. This was the explanation given to me:

There is only ONE way (the line) to Heaven. There is only ONE God (the point of light) and He is the ONLY path/way to Heaven. His name is JESUS CHRIST [John 14:6]. Apart from Him, there is nothing (darkness) [Matthew 25:30].

Immediately upon this revelation; upon realising that I was in the presence of God Himself (through the Holy Spirit), this thought crossed my mind: "What does one do in the presence of a King?" Instantly, I felt my knees buckle on their own and I fell to the ground in reverence [Romans 14:11, Isaiah 45:23]. I heard in my mind, “One kneels before a King,” and understood then that Jesus is not just a king: He is THE King. The whole earth itself belongs to Him [Isaiah 66:1, Acts 7:49, Matthew 5:35]. I understood that He really is who he said he was in the Scriptures [John 14:11]. All this knowledge given to me began to make sense: Heaven is a real place and there really is only one way to get there. It is only one way because there is only one Truth, and there is only one Truth because there is only one God [John 14:6] and this one Way is JESUS [John 1:1-5].

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” 

— John 14:6 [https://my.bible.com/bible/59/JHN.14.6.ESV]

The moment I understood who Jesus is, that Heaven is real and of all the faiths of the earth, only ONE is true, I realised at the very same time that Hell is real. The Light is true, but so is the darkness. What the guy in the video mentioned and what I had seen in my dream had been demons. They are real, and they are everywhere. This meant that, by default, anyone without Christ is truly headed for Hell, because unless we are within Him [Romans 8:1] (He who is that pathway of light I saw), we are in ‘outer darkness’ [Matthew 25:30]. Without Christ, we are unprotected, exposed; as only in the Light can we be safe and live. We are born in that outer darkness by default [Romans 3:23] and unless we make the choice of entering the Light, we will stay out there, lost and suffering.

The full weight of this realisation showed me the truth behind my thoughts and actions, and what my true intentions and motivations were. I was not good; I was neither special, nor unique, nor a highly evolved human being on the brink of transcendence, as the New Age and various schools of spirituality had led me to believe. I was, in fact, a blatant blasphemer in open rebellion against God, against the One who created me and everything else in existence. Everything I did, or even thought about, went against everything He ordained. This made me worthy of death and Hell, and I agreed with the judgement. It made sense. 

Regarding punishment: Contrary to what many believe, God is NOT cruel to charge us with such harsh punishment. In fact, this actually proves He is perfectly just as He is perfectly loving. When we truly understand who it is we are rebelling against, who it is we are insulting, bad-mouthing, cursing and rejecting, the admonishment we receive feels deserved. From birth, we humans go against the One who is the epitome of holiness, He who is all that is good and who gave us EVERYTHING. He whose only request of us is to love; Him and each other [Matthew 22:37-40]. All God wants from us is that we love him, because He loves us [1 John 4:19]. He loves us so much, He gave up His only Son to redeem us for our crimes [John 3:16], even give opportunity to those who think they’ve done nothing wrong and don’t realise they too are guilty. Rejecting such love, generosity, purity, and kindness can only be called the worst of crimes. The punishment should fit the crime if it is to be called justice; a sentence that befits the value of that which has been trespassed against, and since God is infinitely valuable, the punishment can only be infinitely severe. 

Appalled at myself and absolutely terrified, I apologised to Him. On my knees, I repented of everything I had ever done against Him. I also thanked him for showing me the Truth, because it allowed me to repent and, therefore, receive forgiveness and thus be saved [Luke 13:3, Revelation 3:19, Ezekiel 18:32, Matthew 4:17]. I told him that I no longer wanted to try to run my own life. That I don't know how to and I don’t want to keep making a mess by continuing to try. I then asked Him to please take control of my life, to be Lord over me, and to please save me. I said to him that now that I understand who He is, I want to follow Him, honour Him and serve Him, for the rest of my life. 

At that moment, I felt as if someone grabbed me and turned me on my head, or rather, made the ground under me “rotate,” so that what used to be “up” was now “down.” Strangely, it made things feel like they were now in the “correct order” [Proverbs 3:6]. I also had a weird sensation in my eyes; of being able to “see” all the while having the awareness that I have always had sight, yet feeling as if I had “just now” become able to see for the first time [Acts 9:18]. Then, I felt as if my “inside” was being brought out, like how you turn a shirt or a pair of socks inside out. Finally, I “heard” the Holy Spirit command me to wash myself and my clothes [Numbers 31: 23-24] so I did.

“Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out.” 

— Acts 3:19  [https://my.bible.com/bible/59/ACT.3.19.ESV]

I was left feeling “strange,” to say the least, for the next couple of weeks. I couldn’t drink coffee for some reason, my body rejected it. I ended up not drinking coffee for 6 months (though I drink it again now, albeit to a much lesser degree than before).

I also noticed that my mind was very silent, which was a first for me. All intrusive thoughts in my mind were gone. For years, even decades, I had lived with voices in my head that tormented me and made me feel insecure, anxious, and depressed. All of a sudden, those voices were gone. There was a pleasant silence in my mind; I could hear the birds singing and the wind blowing through the trees, with no running commentary to ruin it. I later learned that this silence is something else, something I had very little experience with and so, wasn’t able to identify it at first. It was God’s Peace [Phillipians 4:7].

'And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.'

— Philippians 4:7 [https://my.bible.com/bible/59/PHP.4.7] {image made by me @anhei-art}

In those first couple of days after my experience, I walked around as if in a daze. Everything felt absurd and odd and it was very clear to me (still is) that this world is a fallen place, destined for destruction. There is no joy to be found in the world; no satisfaction, no happiness, no peace. Nothing good. It was (still is) so obvious to me that those things can only come from God because only He is goodness, satisfaction, completeness, wholeness, peace. It now made perfect sense as to why so many of us feel so hopeless, depressed, and alone; always searching, always looking for something to fill that void. I learned that that “void” was a hole in our souls that only God can fill. That is why all pursuit of happiness in worldly things is useless. It’s a never-ending quest for something that doesn’t even exist: earthly satisfaction, or satisfaction by one’s own effort. 

This led me to take a bunch of large black trash bags and put in them every single New Age/spirituality book I owned, along with everything of the sort I could find around in my room: crystals, tarot cards, oracle cards, idol images, etc. I also threw away all the fanart I had ever made, and anything I felt was obscene. I went into my computer and deleted all the fanfiction I had ever written, as well as shut down all my online accounts where I would share it. I felt convicted to do this and once it was all gone, I felt a peace I had never felt before. Anyone that knows me knows how much I love books, so I’m sure they’d be shocked to see the state my bookshelves were left in. It was all pretty much gone. I got rid of almost every book I owned, and I owned a LOT of books. The only ones that survived the purge were a couple of cookbooks, some mental health reference books and a couple of novels I felt were OK to keep. I knew what I wanted in place of all those books and that was the one book I had never been interested in reading until now: The Holy Bible. 

Immediately, I went online and ordered a bible. I also downloaded a bible app that came with a huge list of translations and versions to choose from and just started reading. I felt so “hungry” for God. I had never, ever, felt the desire to read the Bible, but now I wanted to know everything about God. To my surprise, when I began to read the Bible, I could actually understand it. I remember having read a bit before, but it just didn’t make sense to me, and I found it incredibly boring so I never felt inclined to keep trying it out. Now, though, it was fascinating. I started reading and haven’t stopped since.  Maybe it’s a cliche to say that my life has completely changed since, but it really has, though on the surface it might not look like much. I still have some issues in various areas of my life, however, I know that I am not alone in this [Isaiah 41:10, John 16:33]. I now go through it all with a serenity I never had before. I am witness to how God has been restoring my life and has lifted me out of the pit I was in, to place me in his Heavenly kingdom as part of His family. I haven’t had any suicidal thoughts since the moment of my conversion and I no longer fear death, for I know when that moment comes, I will be with Him.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

— Isaiah 41:10  [https://my.bible.com/bible/59/ISA.41.10.ESV]

I think the hardest adjustment I’ve had to make since this experience is dealing with the dread I feel when I remember that Hell is real and that so many people are heading there, completely unaware [Psalm 82:5]. SometimesI want to shout it out to people; tell them to turn to Jesus immediately, but I know it wouldn’t have the effect I wish it would. In the past, I’d see people going about their own way, “living their truth,” and think nothing of it. I even admired some of them. Now, I see them heading towards a precipice, falling headlong into an abyss from which there is no getting out without the help of Jesus. I guess I now understand why it is so hard to convince people of the truth. Before all this, if someone would have told me I was heading straight to Hell if I didn’t have Jesus [John 3:18], I would have thought them insane (and incredibly arrogant). How do you tell someone that and not come off as crazy?

Nonetheless, Jesus tells us to not worry about what people might think, precisely because of this [Matthew 5:11-12, 10:25]. He already knew a lot of people would be opposed to the Truth and to hearing it. That is why He tells us to have faith and trust Him [John 14:1], because He takes care of those under His wing. All he asks is that we share His Good News with others, so they too may choose to be saved [Matthew 28:19-20]. 

Therefore, I am sharing my testimony, even though I am perfectly aware of how bizarre and outlandish it all sounds. I have no idea how it will be received, but it’s my responsibility to put it out there. And just like the testimony of others helped me reach Christ, I can only hope that mine might help others as well. 

To wrap things up, thank you so much for receiving my testimony. I know it’s long; I have edited this SO many times, trying to make it as concise as possible but there was so much I felt I couldn’t leave out as well, so thank you for your patience. Please feel free to send me a message if you have questions/etc. I will answer, though you might see my main account name (anhei-art) instead of this one because this is my side blog. 

Thanks again for your time and attention. May Jesus show you the Truth and may The Lord, Our God, bless you, keep you and give you peace.

“The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.”

— Numbers 6:25-26 [https://my.bible.com/bible/59/NUM.6.25-26.ESV]

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If God can save me he can truly save anyone

[naijagospel]

[EP] "My Testimony" - Sarah Emmanuel

Sarah Emmanuel, a renowned songwriter and gospel singer from Nigeria who now resides in the United States, has released her much-awaited EP, “My Testimony” produced by Mr Deep. My Testimony is a five-track album celebrating God’s awesomeness. It begins with ‘Thank You Lord’, emphasizing the importance of thanksgiving to God. It is followed shortly by ‘Kosoun te o le se,’ which reinforces that…